Kiss and Swallow part 18
Bill’s insides turned upside down like he was ready to throw them up all together at once. Little drops of ice-cold sweat covered his body from head to toes. It made him shiver and shake in the most uncomfortable way. His whole body was trying to understand and accept the news that Polly was back. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t even fully possible because strong part of Bill’s mind blocked it.
“No. You are not back.”
Flowers and short letter inside his room were telling him that living in denial was useless. She was somewhere close yet Bill was too drugged or too shocked to get what it meant.
Suddenly his process of intensive thinking was interrupted by the knock on the hospital door. Not that anyone was waiting for his invitation. He had no privacy , no power to decide if he wanted to be alone or if he wanted to have company.
But despite it all he just roared as his throat was too dry to let out normal voice.
As Bill was sure it was someone from hospital’s stuff he didn’t bother to look at his guest or to say simple hello. Only familiar voice made him change his mind.
“Hello brother” Tom waved shyly still standing next to the front door.
“Tom?” Bill tried to raise on his elbows but he was painfully reminded about strings used to tie his body to the bed. “Fuck” he cursed silently “Fuck fuck fuck.”
“Are you okay Bill?” Tom made few steps in his direction but didn’t come too close.
“And how do you think?” Bill was too angry to try to be nice to his brother “Perfectly fine and happy. Being tied to the bed was always my biggest dream.”
“I’m sorry” Tom looked down “I…” he seemed to be very nervous and Bill wasn’t sure why. All in all Tom was free and normal man. “Can I…can I do something for you? I…I came to see how are you and…”
“Take me home please.” Bill was surprised by the begging tone of his own voice. He didn’t plan to sound that way.
“I…” Tom rushed to Bill’s bed and sat on the edge of it. Bill didn’t want to look at his face. He didn’t want to look so weak.
“I…I wish I could but I can’t. You are here to get better Bill. This is hard for me to trust me but…you have to understand this.”
“Look at me!” Bill screamed trying to raise his body again “Just look! Do you see these ties? I can’t even get the fuck off this bed! How is this supposed to help me?”
“I’m sorry” Tom looked down again.
“Tom I’m tired of this all. I never wanted to bring it all up to my life. I never wanted that girl on our balcony but we both saw her. You know she existed! And you know she was real!”
“Calm down Bill” Tom put a hand on Bill’s shoulder and pushed him down on the bed again “Yes I saw her that morning on our balcony and I know she was real but you know things got fucked up. I don’t understand too much of it all.”
“Then believe me! Why don’t you believe me?”
“I…” Tom looked around and then his eyes stopped on the flowers standing on the nightstand. “What is this?” immediately he stood up and came to examine the flowers.
Of course he noticed little letter tied to the bouquet.
“Thank you for the night Bill?”what is this Bill? Who left it here? Why do you have flowers? Bill?
Bill closed his eyes for good few moments. He was thinking if he should tell Tom everything. All in all Tom was the only person he trusted in that whole mess.
“Polly. Polly gave it to me.”
Tom shook his head in disbelief just as if he wanted to deny Bill’s answer.
“Bill she is nowhere around.”
“But Tom! She was here last night and I…I had sex with her! I felt her and smelled her. It was all real! Just look at my sheets if you need such proofs!” he wanted to scream louder “Tom she came after me and she will come again. I…”
“Bill…” Tom’s eyes got bigger.
“You have to take me out of this place. Today. Just take me home. I promise I will stay there. You can lock me up in my room. I don’t care. Just don’t let me stay here.”
“It’s not that easy Bill. Police decided to het you here instead of putting you in jail for kidnapping and threatening. You have to get through whole therapy and…”
“Fine.” Bill had no power to carry on the conversation “Fine. Perfect. Leave me here and let me freak out more. This is what is going to happen. Next time you will visit me I won’t even remember my own name because I’ll be that crazy.” He stopped. His breaths turned into very heavy. “So leave now. I’m not gonna ask you for anything. Just go and get back to your pretty normal life.”
“Bill you got it all wrong” Tom sat on the bed again but Bill refused to look at him again. He plastered his eyes to the wall and tried to erase everything from his head.
For some time everything got drowned in bad silence. Too heavy and too long.
“You really should go Tom. I’m tired and I want to be alone.”
“Yeah.” Bill nodded unwillingly.
“Fine then” Tom got off the bed but then he did something that surprised Bill. He simply bended down and untied ropes around Bill’s body setting him free “I don’t think it’s necessary. You are not dangerous Bill” Tom whispered, came to Bill and kissed his forehead. After that he left the room. Bill was alone again.
He waited some time before he dared to sit on the bed. New freedom felt strange. He looked at his hands and wrists and examined red marks.
“Fuck you all” he screamed and kicked the air that suddenly seemed to burn his skin.
He felt so alone it physically hurt him. Bill wrapped his hands around his own shoulders as if he wanted to comfort himself. He missed his old life, his old meaningless problems, his old everything.
He got drowned in those old memories that he didn’t hear as someone entered the room.
“Hello Bill” Lisa stepped in whispering shyly.
“It’s you” he simply stated.
“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. I shouldn’t have tied you to the bed. I reacted to…I reacted wrong. But I see Tom helped you with that. He is a good brother.”
Bill looked at her and noticed she wasn’t wearing her uniform.
“You came here as my doctor or as…”
“No” she shook her head “I came here as Lisa. And I came to…to say goodbye. I can’t work here anymore. I’m moving to the other hospital. It will be better this way.”
“What?” Bill didn’t want to care but her words shocked him “You are leaving? Why?”
“You know why. We crossed the line and I know I can’t help you anymore. It’s not professional and just wrong. We slept with each other and it’s against my rules. So…” she paused “I just wanted to let you know and not leave without saying goodbye. I wish you all the best. I still believe you can get better if you will focus on it. Just don’t give up.”
Bill wasn’t sure how to react to that news. Lisa wasn’t even his friend but somehow he had got used to her presence and he even trusted her. Now she was leaving.
“So…” their eyes met and for a little second Bill noticed something unfamiliar there. Something like fear. “So you decided already? What if I don’t want you to leave? I don’t want to get through it all over and over again. I don’t want to tell my story to another stupid doctor.”
“Bill” she tried to give him weak smile “Papers are already singed. It will be better this way. I acted not professionally and yeah…” she looked away.
“Are you afraid of something Lisa?” he slowly moved his hand to her “Did someone force you to leave?”
“What?” she laughed nervously “Of course not! I leave because I decided so. I’m sorry for doing this but you won’t be left alone. They here will take care of you.”
“Lisa” he insisted but she turned his back to him.
Not thinking too much he stood up and followed her wanting to grab her by the pocket in her jeans. She read his mind and stepped away almost in last second but Bill had enough time to take something out of the pocket. Another piece of paper.
“Take care Bill!” she didn’t notice he stole something from here “You can make it. You are strong enough.” After these words she rushed out of the room.
“Lisa!” he screamed after her but he only got the loud slam of the door in response.
Not knowing what else to do he came back to the bed, sat on it and unrolled the piece of paper. There were a short message written on it. He ready it quickly.
I know about your secret affair with one of the patients. You know it’s forbidden right? Your whole career can be over if anyone will get to know your secret. Now it’s safe with me but it won’t be if you won’t listen to me. You know what I want from you? I want you to leave this hospital once and for good. Just disappear and we will forget everything. I know how to take care of your patients, especially Bill. Trust me. He will be safe with me. Kisses. Polly.
That short message explained everything. Reason why Lisa ha left. It looked like this time Polly was very determined to get to Bill and he wasn’t sure what it meant.
Feeling more nervous than before he started to walk around the room. His head was too full of bad thoughts. He had to escape from that place but he knew he wasn’t able to do this alone. He needed someone to help him. Tom had refused. Lisa had left so the only person that he could maybe ask for help was that nice nurse Sue. She was his last chance, last hope.
Since the thought of asking Sue for help had come to his head Bill couldn’t calm down. He was waiting for her to visit him. There was no time to waste.
She came around dinner time. Again she was so nice and in a good mood.
For some time they were just talking about random things. Bill tried to do everything to make her feel sorry for him and the situation he was in. Somehow it worked.
“You hate this place Bill I know.”
“Yes I hate it with whole burning passion. You know why? Because I’m not crazy. I shouldn’t be here. I have a home, family, life. So I need to get out of here. I really have to.” He kept on explaining her his point of view “I feel so not comfortable here. I’m just…I’m afraid to stay here. There’s so many reasons…”
“Sue please…I know you work here and you’d risk so much but please…” he looked her straight in the eyes “I beg you help me get out of here.”
“Bill it’s not right.”
“I know but this is my only chance. Please think about it…” he kept on begging her.
“You know the chances it will work are very low. So many things can go wrong and…”
“I don’t care. Just…”
“You are not the first one that asks me for this.”
“Did you help anyone before?”
“So try to help me too.”
“Bill…” she walked to the door “I…fine. I’ll do this. I’ll visit you tonight so we can plan everything.”
“I…Thank you Sue. It means…you won’t regret it I promise.”
She smiled to him and left the room.
But as soon as she left the room she reached for the cell phone and sent short message. Wide smile formed on her face. Everything was going according to the plan.
To be continued…